singularityderp | KINK MEME 3.0

;__________________; /reaches for

HEY ARMOR BFF IS THIS WHERE YOU GUYS LIVE GOSH IT'S SO BORING WHERE ARE ALL YOUR PRETTY THINGS? ALSO I BROUGHT THOSE MAGNETS AREN'T THEY CUTE THIS ONE'S A KITTY LIKE POUNCE :DD

LKMAFLKM

ALL MY WANT, DUDE, ALL MY WANT.

I WANT THIS TO HAPPEN.

IN GAME.

OPEN LOG SOME TIME Y/Y/MOTHERFUCKING Y?

FORGET THE KINK MEME, THIS SHOULD HAPPEN INGAME.

ALL THE YES IN THE WORLD. YOU CANNOT ESCAPE THE CUTE.

PLEASE FOREVER the spartans need some lol after all the drama.

Nepeta is so ready to bring the lol. And the cat puns.

LMFAO He's going to be so lineface but just like h-hhh /LETS HER WALK ALL OVER HIM, cannot handle the cute.

She will love him and say happy things and leave presents everywhere and call him up and ramble about her hunts and her games and she will think he is the best ever. GOOD FRIEND, BEST ARMORBUDDY.

fwlkaflkj oh my gooooooooooooooooood.

WELCOME TO NEPETA HELL it's actually pretty sweet in here.

:( Soon enough she anonymously finds a stuffed kitty delivered to the front of the hive, addressed to her.

CONCURRING HARDCORE LIKE A BOSS. \o/ Thom will adopt her and assist Carter in this linefacing at anyone who looks like they might throw her out.

someone make it happen as a threesome*

FIXED THAT FOR YOU?

AW HELL YES just the mental image of all these huge guys floating around behind her looking disapproving at anyone who might be messing with the cute is hilarious.

And she names it something silly and it attends all of her tea parties. Every single one.

you've created a monster

I loved the everloving fuck out of this. HAHA THIS HUMOR. Stay forever. ;3;

[oh god what is this I don't even. I have no good explanation. please forgive any blatant errors of fact/characterization and general wtf. Also sorry for lack of master chief, I'm not sure how he fits into the command structure/anything about him at all.]

She didn't mind Carter's weekly meetings, even if they seemed a little pointless at times; at least it was something other than the endless patrols that took up the dead time in between crises, some semblance of a routine. All of them were sitting around the dining room table, or on chairs backed up against the wall – it the only room in the barracks where they could all fit, and even so, it was a tight squeeze.

"Dismissed," said Carter, and Six pushed back her chair, but before she could stand Jun was shooting to his feet, clearing his throat and looking expectantly at his commander. Carter hesitated just a moment before nodding.

"Go ahead, Jun."

"Thank you, sir," Jun said, and turned back to face them, practically bouncing with excitement.

"This is something Nepeta told me about," he began, and Emile shifted restlessly from his spot in the corner, Jorge just turning to look at him and then back without a word. Jun didn't seem to notice. "If you've been reading my memos" - no one had - "you'll know that troll romance is different than human romance. There are four different types, called quadrants, and..."

Six zoned out a little at that point, glancing around the room. Emile was still sulking in the corner, and Kat was nearly as bad, looking irritated and blatantly ignoring Jun, tapping away on a data pad. Carter, of course, was sitting stiffly, expressionless, but somehow Six had the feeling that he was regretting his decision to let Jun speak as the other Spartan went on and on.

"...and then there's kismesissitude, which is when you hate someone so much you actually -"

There was a snort from across the table, and Six looked over to see O'Brien folding his arms and scowling, obviously extremely unimpressed with this whole ordeal. Rookie put a calming hand on his shoulder, which for some reason seemed to make O'Brien scowl even harder, curling further into himself.

Down at the far end of the table, Black-One leaned close to Black-Two and murmured something inaudible that made Two nearly choke with suppressed laughter. Six watched them with a faint pang of jealousy - she'd never had that kind of relationship with Kat, with anyone, and sometimes she thinks it'd be nice to have an actual female friend once in awhile...and then what Jun said next snapped her attention and that of everyone else right back to him.

"--And that's why I think we should have a moirallegiance orgy."

Dead silence. Carter's face had gone pale, and he seemed to struggle a bit before he managed to speak.

"...Noble Three?"

"To talk about our emotions, sir," Jun said earnestly, and Six realized with faint horror that he wasn't kidding. "Usually trolls only have one moirail, you know, in pairs, but when I explained Spartan culture to Nepeta, she said it sounded a lot like we were all moirails. And I think she's right." He beamed again. "We share our feelings, and work through all our issues, and everyone feels a lot better at the end."

Six couldn't quite decide whether the silence this time was relieved, or more horrified, at this new definition of "orgy."

It went on for a few seconds before Jun reached behind him and deposited a covered platter on the table. "I made cake. In case it goes on awhile, and we need a snack break."

Jun had made cake.

Six exchanged a half-desperate look with Thom, one that was mirrored around the room. The general consensus seemed to be the sooner we get this over with, the less likely it is we'll have to eat Jun's cake. There was another long pause, and then Emile shifted, clearing his throat.

"...Sleeping with Jorge," he said, shooting a quick look in Carter's direction as he says it. "Sick of hiding it." Six wasn't surprised; neither was most of Noble, it seemed. She (along with half the room) looked automatically at Jorge, who looked completely unruffled, and said nothing.

O'Brien kind of freaked out, though, a kind of muffled squawk escaping before he slumped further into his chair, face burning.

"...All right," Carter said at last, blinking, as if he had no idea what else he could say to that. "Anyone else?"

More silence, and then Rookie straightened up in his chair, looking amused.

"I had a good time at Space Prom," he says. "I think we should do more to get involved with the civilians." He glanced at Carter. "Less time in the armor was a good idea, sir. I think it's really helped our image."

Carter nodded. "Duly noted," he said, and fell silent again. Jun was looking torn, up front, as if half pleased that this was working at all, half like he wanted to jump in and lecture some more. Six had a feeling this wasn't going quite how he had planned - less an orgy of feelings, more a scattering of unofficial reports.

Before he could say anything, though, Kat spoke up.

"I've got something to say," she announced, and Carter looked ready to drop through the floor right there.

"Noble Two," he began, as if to cut her off, but Kat interrupted him. Everyone else turned their heads as one to watch as she set her data pad aside and stood.

"Commander," she said evenly, and he shut up immediately. "We're supposed to be talking about our emotions. Working through our issues." She glanced at Jun for acknowledgement before turning back to Carter. "And I've got a hell of a lot of issues."

"Kat, I really don't think -"

"And we're not leaving here until we're all feeling better about things." She was on a roll, and Carter finally seemed to accept that he wasn't going to be able to stop her. He set his jaw, watching her a little helplessly.

"I've been patient," she said. "I've waited. For six years. I thought we were finally getting somewhere." She paused, as if to let it sink in. Everyone else was staring, riveted, but now Kat was looking nowhere but at Carter. She took a deep breath, leaning in a little closer.

"This isn't good enough."

Carter swallowed, his voice creaking dryly when he spoke.

"The team -"

"The team doesn't care, Commander."

That was Emile, of course. Everyone turned to look at him, and he just shrugged nonchalantly. Somehow, Six just knew he was grinning hugely under his helmet.

"We all know how you two feel about each other. Hell, we probably knew before you did. And as far as we're concerned -" he glanced around briefly at his fellow officers before turning back to address Carter - "the sooner you get together and stop martyring yourself, the better off we're all be."

There was a pause, and then Thom nodded smartly. "Agreed."

"Definitely," added Rookie, beaming.

"Better than you walking on eggshells all the time," Black-One pointed out. "It's like waiting for a bomb to go off."

Carter said nothing during the ripple of agreement that spread like around the room. The faint panic on his face pretty much said it all. Finally, he managed to get his mouth open again. "I don't want to compromise the integrity-"

"Fuck compromising integrity," Black-Two jumped in. "Go and fuck her, Commander. We'll all be better off for it." She paused, and then added belatedly, "sir."

Carter's jaw dropped, and he finally risked a glance at Kat. She'd been silent since Emile had spoken, arms folded in front of her, just waiting. When Carter looked at her, she raised a single eyebrow.

"Commander?"

He fidgeted. "...I..."

"Go on, Commander," Emile prodded gently. "It'll all be all right."

Carter glanced over at him, his expression still a mix of mortification, shock, and something like hope. Finally he stood, stiffly, nodding to his SIC. "Kat," he said formally. "I think we should talk." He hesitated, not quite looking at her. "...In private."

Kat just looked at him for a long moment, and then her lips turned up in a half-smile. She nodded, turned on her heel, and led the way out of the room.

To the credit of their training and military discipline, everyone waited until they were out of earshot before starting to cheer.

"All right!" Jun crowed, and took the cover off the plate with a flourish. "Who wants pomegranate and mustard upside-down cake?"

SCREAMING WITH GLEE

shit I want this to happen IC now

SECONDING

KINK MEME 3.0

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