KINK MEME - get your porn on

[cousinisdeeeead.livejournal.com]

KINK MEME



1. A total of one request per comment.
2. If you make a request, try to fill one too, please!
3. ?!?!?!?!
4. Have fun!
5. PROFIT.

Comments

[selfkismesis.livejournal.com]

THIS IS ILLEGAL

[mcfussyfangs.livejournal.com]

i am going to fill requests in your name once something i can actually write comes up.

i will dedicate all my porn to you.

This feels like a misplaced comment fic, and yet, I don't care.

[cmdr-renegade.livejournal.com]

"Only in Citadel space," Shepard answered dryly and rolled her eyes. "Cut your whining and get over here."

They were hesitating and she'd had quite enough of that for one day. Without further ado, she grabbed them by the waistband and pulled them over. Another tug and that zipper was ruined.

"Now you have three tasks. Strip. Drink that. And enjoy the ride," Shepard ordered flatly. "If I hear one more complaint about legality, I'm cuffing you to the bulkhead and leaving."

[circuitry]

"Oh my gog, Karkat, just chill out and relax for once. I've looked everything up and I can assure you there aren't any laws against this anywhere. Now put this scalemate costume on and get the pails out while I invite Strider over."

[(Anonymous)]

Bro and Kaylee finally have sex. Except Kaylee finds out about Bro's, um, odd kink.

LULZ ENSUES????

I don't even know where this was going but here you go.

[cupcake-dress.livejournal.com]

"Oh my sweet an' fluffy lord--" Kaylee exclaimed reflexively and clapped her hands over her mouth in embarrassment. She let out a little squeak as she did so and turned her wide eyes back at Bro's face. He had been absolutely sincere about this and she'd gone and reacted like that? What kind of low-down, dead awful person was she?

"It's...more...than I was expecting," Kaylee said quickly and let her hands drop back onto the bedspread. What had Inara taught her about talking to boys if they were sensitive or fancy...and Bro tended to take things to heart real fast if he were serious.

"Uh, yeah," Bro scrubbed at the back of his head and took a quick breath through his nose. He was real awful at being a tough guy without his glasses and hat, though, and she saw through him like a game of three card monty on Persephone.

"No," Kaylee said and leaned forward before he had a chance to stand up and wander off an be all hurt about it. She swung a leg over him and pushed him back onto the bed. He went back and bounced a little against the mattress. "I like it...just ain't sure...uh...well."

"It'scool. Not everyone can handle it," Bro deflected the awkwardness and tried to pull his best cool guy look, like he didn't care. Kaylee whacked him on the chest and smiled.

"Oh hush," she chided and looked down before cocking her head to the side. "Ain't sure how that's going to fit right...I mean it's...kinda got a kink in it." Kink was, perhaps, an understatement. Still, she'd used toys with similarly...curious angles built into them. If his penis had an angle in it (had to be a 90 degree bend, couldn'a been less than 60), well, she'd give it a try.

"What can I say, I'm kinky, chica," Bro answered and Kaylee rolled her eyes. For all the sensitive hogwash and coolguyness, he knew when to put his money where his mouth was. Or rather his fingers where his mouth had been and Kaylee pressed back against him with a little moan. It took some doing, but when she finally wiggled herself down on him, she was glad she'd given it a go. It hit all the right places.

"Gonna have ta' make a copy of that later," Kaylee told him in a perfectly serious, ultimately pleased voice. "Or just keep ya' locked up in my nightstand." Bro laughed and she beamed. "Ain't so sure about the puppets, but I'm willing to try anything once."

[(Anonymous)]

Rami goes to spy on Gem, but ends up at the wrong house and finds Virgil jacking off. He is so fascinated that he can't stop, and ends up getting off on it. Then Virgil catches him and then they porked :|

[(Anonymous)]

Alejandro/Isaac.

Only half-gay.

HALF-GAY

[(Anonymous)]

"Fuck-- this feels weird."

"If you didn't squirm so fucking much, this would go a lot smoother, Clarke."

It's sort of a typical set-up, Alejandro admits. Have a few too may drinks one night, then it sort of occurs to him that hey, Isaac doesn't look half-bad for an old guy and he really had to admit, he had a pretty fine ass. All on the surface level, it seemed like a good idea to try to convince the other engineer to go for it.

It took a lot of words and some groping, but here they were; Alejandro's leaning up against the work bench with his normal arm around Isaac's waist, using his mechanical hand to give him probably the weirdest damn handjob Isaac's ever had. It's Alejandro's guess that he's never even had intimacy with another guy, either, considering comments like--

"This is really gay," Isaac groans.

Yeah, like that.

"You're gay," Alejandro mutters, still with the maturity level of a twelve-year-old.

"Shit--" Isaac jerks against him before grumbling a weak-ass retort, "No you."

As gently as he can get his mechanical thumb to move, he lightly rubs it over the tip of Clarke's dick; the older engineer is shuddering against him and. That's not too bad, either. Hell, the more he squirms against Alejandro, the harder he gets.

Frankly, Alejandro wishes he was a bit more sober for this to really enjoy it, but the idea probably wouldn't have even come to him if he was. Still, it's not... bad. He hasn't been close with someone like this for awhile, not since he left Titan station. Like this, he can appreciate Isaac gasping and bucking against him, the older man grabbing at his arms, uncertain if he wants this or wants to deny it.

He adjusts his robotic hand a bit in order to rub the ridges of the fingers against Isaac's erection better. In turn, Clarke is gasping and involuntarily thrusting, hissing under his breath, "This is so damn weird."

Alejandro reaches around with his left hand, brushing his hands against Isaac's testicles, squeezing his thigh. Clarke jerks against him, not really shaking him off, not really sure how much he's okay with liking this still. Hell if he knows what's coming over him, even Alejandro doesn't really want to think about it, but he's leaning in a little closer to kiss at the nape of Isaac's neck.

"Damn it," Isaac mutters, almost miserably. "Nicole--"

It's when Alejandro hears that name that he feels really. Really damn guilty.

He gives a few final thrusts before he's done, finishing over Alejandro's mechanical hand. The younger engineer gives a little snort; kind of a bad idea, now that he thinks of it. Shit better not get into his gears.

Isaac's quiet a moment, just leaning up against Alejandro; the latter of the mechanics tries to stay still, gritting his teeth with his really. Kind of. Awkward boner.

Finally, Isaac just pulls away. He glances over his shoulder at Alejandro, then looks startled. "Are you-- Do you seriously--"

Oh. "It's not my fucking fault you were grinding up against me!" Alejandro says defensively.

"God you're gay," Isaac grumbles, heading down the hallway.

"Only HALF! It's called being bisexual you dickwad!" Alejandro shouts after him. He glances down at himself, wincing at his arousal.

...Yeah, not exactly as planned.

"Son of a bitch," Alejandro mutters.

[(Anonymous)]

Skyfire walks in on the real reason Isaac likes his baked goods.

[(Anonymous)]

Normandy base orgy :|

Make it happen.

[(Anonymous)]

Just what WAS the last experience of Zaeed sleeping with Thane like?

[(Anonymous)]

He'd held on so tight.

Like- well. Like a dying man. It hadn't struck him at the time. But now that Zaeed looked back on it; it had been kind of scary.

But sexy scary.

One minute they're there, and the next... dead.

From face cancer.

[(Anonymous)]

Sarah/Shepard/Samus have a threesome sponsored by the letter "s."

[(Anonymous)]

Thane and Skyfire's hijinks get sexy? Sexy hijinks.

Shepard walks in on it.

[(Anonymous)]

GLaDOS/SHODAN

they have the AI equivalent of sex

for science

[(Anonymous)]

Gibson/Jalen

What did Castor put into those drinks....

[(Anonymous)]

Jaime/Karkat; all the hatesex, all of it.

[(Anonymous)]

Samus/Alejandro.

Samus tops. All the way. Alejandro is okay with this.

[chozobloodrites.livejournal.com]

It had started with a fight.

Alejandro had said something that was probably derogatory and Samus got all huffed up about it. The thing is, it was her choice to take it to the physical plane. Alejandro had put up a good fight, enough to even impress the likes of Samus, but in the end she had been trained in combat where Alejandro was just an engineer.

She kicked him to the floor of the workshop with a painful thud, knocking the air right out of him. He took a breath to savor the sudden need for oxygen only to get it knocked out of him again as Samus moved right on top of him, pinning him down.

"I win."

Her face remained passive at the boast, but her eyes smouldered in a primal gaze with the fire of victory. His gaze shifted to the way her chest moved as she gathered her breath ... and also that little fact that she was fucking straddling him starting something primal within Alejandro as well.

"Looks like you did."

"Hm. I think I deserve a prize."

As she spoke Samus moved her hips ever-so-slightly, perhaps even deliberately, and a wave of excitement ran through Alejandro. Holy shit. At that moment he was 70% sure he was going to get laid. He placed a hand on her thigh and gave a grin.

"Well, shit, I could help with that."

Her lips gave the slightest tug at the corners of her mouth and she leaned in, brushing her cheek against his and whispering into his ear.

"I want you ... to make me a sandwich."

"Yeah- What?!"

Samus bolted back upright and crossed her arms against her chest. Her eyes no longer a smoulder but an ice cold shower, her face once more completely impassive. Any sort of mood Alejandro was thrown completely out the window, replaced with confusion, anger, and a suddenly very misplaced boner.

"You offered to help."

"I thought I was going to get some!"

"Then we encountered a serious misunderstanding. Now are you going to make me a sandwich or not?"

"Wha- fuck no!"

"All right. We're done here."

Briskly she stood up and strode across the room, opened the door and slammed it shut behind her.

"Wait! You fucking-

Son of a-

"

He flopped back onto the floor and gave a grunt of manly sorrow. It looked like it was going to be him and Mrs. Robo-hand again.

Fuck everything.

[notyourchauffer.livejournal.com]

Shep tops everyone ever.

(But no really, I'm writing a fill.)

[cmdr-renegade.livejournal.com]

> See Mass Effect.

[(Anonymous)]

Pudge/Alejandro.

STORY TIME WITH PUDGE... i apologize for this anon

[notsoloyal]

One day Pudge was at the beach. The sun was out, and it was a very hot day. Why whatever was a cute spider supposed to do in such heat that could very well cause ants to spontaneously combust?

That was when it happened. Pudge's favorite person (next to Skyfire of course) happened along, humming a happy tune. ALEJANDRO! He would save a poor little spider from the murderous heat. And Pudge could already see the glorious sanctuary of shade.




It was all in a matter of seconds that Pudge darted up Alejandro's swim trunks, and Alejandro screamed and fainted like a little girl. A scream and swoon, that just told Pudge that Alejandro loved him and he could camp out under the leg of those swim trunks all day if he wanted.




...



Although Pudge couldn't help but wonder why, the next time Alejandro went to the beach, it was in a speedo rather than his shady swim trunks.

Because it didn't get filled last time.

[(Anonymous)]

Shepard/Hallucination!Garrus

[(Anonymous)]

hot Jack on Jack action. A Jack on Jack on Jack is fine too.

[(Anonymous)]

Black-One/Zaeed/Thane.

DO IT UP. ZAEED SANDWICH.

[(Anonymous)]

Jade/All the Daves

[(Anonymous)]

Hawke wakes up as M!Hawke, gets Fenris to rub her beard.

Thanks, Plurk memes.

[cupcake-dress.livejournal.com]

Kaylee jumps Alejandro.

He talks engineering and dat arm has a ~vibrate setting~.