There's a long silence as she processes his words, trying to remember. Jade remembers the nightlight (the monsters that crawl and grow in the dark) and the fort, sleeping next to John in the bed, and the Daves, too.
And then he asks the question. The light falls from her hand as she twitches, because the memories are painful and she's glitching hard as her human part refuses to remember it. But it's a direct question, and her mind is programmed to answer. "I've been cut open lots of times brain surgery hurts, John and she hacked me and fix--f-- fixed me." She turns into the light, letting him see the back of her neck, the neural links that are embedded in her neck and down her back, directly into her spine. She's so small and fragile-looking; her tank top hangs off of her body like it was made for someone much bigger. Jade turns to face him again, pulling the shirt up a little to reveal the large, red scar that runs from the base of her neck to her navel.
"She cccccuts me open and looks for the secret of Space and it hurts and i scream, but no one comes for me. Her orders hurt me and I-- I I've killed myself before lots of times, it's punishment for disobeying. Sometimes it's just shutting my sight off, taking control of my body away from me, but I've hunganddrownedandelectrocutedandfallenoffofcliffs and because it's just heeeeroic or just i just pop back up and do it. Do it again.
"And I ha-- hate hate it so much I hate this life I hate myself but I will do what she says because she's my Mother and I love her."
Even though her eyes are mechanic, a few tears drip out anyway, trailing down her cheeks. And when she speaks again, it sounds completely human, with no trace of machinery or glitching anywhere. "John, I just want to go home. Or die, or something because I'm so unhappy."
no subject
And then he asks the question. The light falls from her hand as she twitches, because the memories are painful and she's glitching hard as her human part refuses to remember it. But it's a direct question, and her mind is programmed to answer. "I've been cut open lots of times brain surgery hurts, John and she hacked me and fix--f-- fixed me." She turns into the light, letting him see the back of her neck, the neural links that are embedded in her neck and down her back, directly into her spine. She's so small and fragile-looking; her tank top hangs off of her body like it was made for someone much bigger. Jade turns to face him again, pulling the shirt up a little to reveal the large, red scar that runs from the base of her neck to her navel.
"She cccccuts me open and looks for the secret of Space and it hurts and i scream, but no one comes for me. Her orders hurt me and I-- I I've killed myself before lots of times, it's punishment for disobeying. Sometimes it's just shutting my sight off, taking control of my body away from me, but I've hunganddrownedandelectrocutedandfallenoffofcliffs and because it's just heeeeroic or just i just pop back up and do it. Do it again.
"And I ha-- hate hate it so much I hate this life I hate myself but I will do what she says because she's my Mother and I love her."
Even though her eyes are mechanic, a few tears drip out anyway, trailing down her cheeks. And when she speaks again, it sounds completely human, with no trace of machinery or glitching anywhere. "John, I just want to go home. Or die, or something because I'm so unhappy."