singularityderp | FORCED HONESTY

[He eases his hands into the air in a classic gesture of surrender.]

All I'm saying is that you may have seen plenty of situations in which losing your focus can get you killed, but there's dozens - hundreds - of other ones where it won't even get you a papercut.

[And then he is just. wat.

TALIA (fuu)]

What were they aiming for, 'most boring world leader ever'? Come on.

You do realize that's how assassins operate, right? They wait for an opening where, logically, letting your guard down wouldn't even lead to a papercut - which I've never had, by the way - and they strike and then clear the scene. And it's even less predictable with the crazies we deal with. With assassins, I've seen hits arranged on people with far less consequence than Father has; with the crazies... [shrugs. If McGinnis doesn't know by now...] Falling into bad habits doesn't seem like a good idea to me.

And a ruler doesn't need to be entertaining to be efficient. In fact, the two are rarely compatible. [shrugs.] Or maybe she expected me to do the ruling and herself to have the fun, probably with Father.

[Is he mocking Talia? Yes. It's still difficult and probably comes out not ridiculous at all, but he can see just how blind she's been.]

Not relevant what the intentions were, anyway. Fact remains that it was never something I was allowed to even consider thinking of.

You're not hanging out with assassins anymore, Damian. Look at Dick. He's been in this game longer than any of us, and he's still kicking around. There's a balance. You just have to find whatever works for you. I'm not saying you should emulate him, for example. Or Bruce, or Tim. Just find what works, yeah?

[... pause]

And papercuts aren't so bad. It's the ones you get off cardboard that are totally killer.

[MOCK-GRIMACE!!]

Well. You're 'allowed' to consider a lot of things now. You're your own person. Who're you gonna end up being?

But they're still out there. Or will be, when I get back. [And he looks down, jaw clenched. Admitting to the failure of not knowing how to find what works? Yeah, sorry, not yet.

... beat. And he looks up and stares. But Terry knows just how 'killer' any paper - or cardboard - cut would be. So, after a long moment, his lips twitch up. Oh so very slightly.

Before he looks down again. See, the 'your own person' is brand new and he has no specific answer to this question.]

Not ruling the world. Not in Mother's way, anyway.

That's later. Don't think about it. What we're doing right now? That's real.

[Which reminds him--]

Here, let's see if we can get the top panel off. I'll give you a boost.

[He's tall enough that he could stretch, but eh, what's the point when Damian can just stand on his shoulders?

Also that's totally a smile. Or as close as Damian ever comes, and he grins in answer.]

You planning on being more into getting fanned with palm fronds and drinking wine out of coconuts?

[An incredulous look. Not at the grin, that he just accepts. Tucks it in somewhere deep in his memory, because such are still rare.

But, really. Damian just could have bounced up the wall and ~~tried to~~ punched the panel up. But, fine. He can actually see if he can unscrew it, rather. No pissing off the crazy AI by destroying shit, right?]

Sure.

[And just like that, he's ready, whichever way McGinnis motions to boost him up. He can take a body language hint quickly. And climb up the older guy even faster.]

Hey, I already own an island where I could do the palm fronds thing, I got it as a Christmas present, why would I need the world for it? Or... at least I think I can do the palm fronds thing there. Didn't really get a chance to visit.

Edited 2012-06-12 07:35 (UTC)

[Yeah and Terry could have reached up for it, but this is about teamwork, thanks. At least Damian obliges him! And. Is up on his shoulders almost before Terry even crouches. That as fast.]

Somebody gave you an entire island? What the heck for?

[Even with the heavy combat-type boots, he's a pretty light climber. And his tongue is sort of pressed between his teeth as he's focusing on the means to open the panel - yes, he starts with plain pushing, just in case, then screws... - while he answers]

It was a Christmas present from Mother. What are Christmas presents for?

[... weird, that the conversation's come back around to this. Terry's quiet for a moment. He doesn't really need to steady Damian, since like all Bats his balance is ridiculous. So he folds his arms, instead.]

They're supposed to mean something. Things that you think might make someone happy. It's not about spending money or just... throwing things at people until something sticks.

Yeah, well, there you have it.

[Okay, that screw maybe 'slipped' hard enough from his hand to scratch the wall. Oops.]

That was before I turned into a disappointment for her, of course.

[ugh his heart hurts. no parent should ever treat their child like this. :(

Also, he. Has no real idea how to respond to that. Telling Damian that his mother wanted a puppet rather than a son? Yeah, that would go over so well.

And the way Damian says it? ... Yeah. There's definitely more to those words than what simply meets the eye.]

Sometimes it's-- hard for parents to see a kid as they really are, instead of how they want them to be. But that's a street that goes both ways. Our parents are our heroes, until something happens to make them human.

[Terry doesn't need to tell him. He knows. Literally knows the puppet part, too.]

No, she's too much of a perfectionist.

[If he had more knowledge, he can point out that when he's never been good enough, perfect enough, he's never been able to touch the part to contentment. The part of existing in perfect balance, the way Grayson does when he's up in the air. He's never known what this thing he is supposed to be aiming for is. He just knows that Father met him and promptly returned him to Mother, and Mother... well, he severed things with her, himself. Human? Not what he sees. Exactly.]

There we go.

[He slides the panel sideways to reveal the opening, instead of dropping it down. Quietly. All reflexes. And then he pulls himself up, the rest coming from the hollow darkness above the elevator booth.]

Hey, I don't even need my parents to be heroes to worship them. Though I guess one of them is.

And unless somebody cuts the cable before we find a door we can open, we should be all set.

[Terry sighs a little, scrubs a hand through his hair and then jumps enough that he can get his hands on the edges of the opening and haul himself up and through. It's an easy motion. Effortless. He's not quite as good as Grayson, but it's close.

Instead of getting immediately into any kind of action, he just. stays there a moment and looks at Damian.

No worries about the darkness. Night vision, well. It runs in the family. Sort of.]

For the record? I think your mom's standards are ridiculous. Damian, you're ten. You've got a lot of learning and growing up left to do, and that's fine. No one's perfect. The fact that she expects you to be is-- frankly? Kinda cruel. No parent should put that kind of pressure on their kid. I don't care who they're raising. I'm amazed that you've been able to work through it even a little, and I really have a lot of respect for your decision to stay Robin.

[A little bit of a smile.]

You're a pretty good kid. Don't let anybody tell you different, got it?

[Tha-at. Is sort of lick a punch in the gut. Except slower, sucking the breath out of Damian and he hunches, arms crossed tightly. When he finally manages to breathe in enough to answer, it's still quiet.]

That's what she said... when I asked her if she couldn't love me the way I am. That she's too much of a perfectionist. And I don't even know what she'll do to the clone... if what she did this far wasn't enough for me to turn out her way.

[oops. did that come out?]

I made one right decision. Maybe two, if you count the promise I made to Father.

That doesn't make me good. And I'm not sure anything can make me a kid. Sorry.

[There's a clone? His jaw tightens in anger and he just.

seriously.

TALIA X-(]

So you're calling me a liar then, huh?

[He's. Only addressing the last bit. Because he can't handle the first part. UGH PRECIOUS TINY BABY.

also his tone is just so completely casual.]

[Clone. Inna jar. The only way Damian could have gotten him out of there would have been lethal, and, yeah, no. Doesn't mean he's not thinking about that.]

... how about 'still operating on incomplete data' instead of 'liar'?

[Look. He's even trying not to antagonize you too much. That should count for something, even by the side of having given up on himself, right?]

Twip.

[yep you're getting thwapped again.]

If you're so convinced you're a terrible person that's going to be a disappointment to everyone around you, why do you keep trying? Why not just give up? [a beat.] Because you're wrong. You're only looking at yourself from one angle out of a million. Trust me, not an ideal way to catch a glimpse of the bigger picture.

[He just knows these things, okay.]

You've never let me down. And I'm kind of too busy being amazed at everything you can do to have any room for disappointment. Now c'mon, start climbing.

[That got a hiss. Which came out pretty loud, where they are.]

You have no idea, McGinnis. You have no idea what kind of a fight it is, and how easy it is to give in. To what I've been trained to both want and be superb at. No idea. Nor the prices I've paid to become what I was, and then discarding them all. This? This is not what a good person wants. Or thinks, or dreams, or whatever. All the time. It is a nightmare who can meet a murderer in a blood frenzy on his own level and come on top.

Father showed me that it was the inferior way. If I give in to it, I become another complete failure. Another of the freaks that deserve no better than being kept at Arkham to spare them their own misery. That's why I keep on trying. Because the alternative sucks even more.

[And. Up he is along the cable. Like a cat. Who is not this close to sniffling at all.]

[Whoa wait just a damn minute.

Terry's reflexes in the suit? On par with some of the best metas out there. But he's no slouch without it, either. So this is the story of how he reaches up and grabs Damian by the ankle before he can get out of reach.

... with his other hand ready to block any (probably well deserved) kicks he might incur.]

Okay, no. You're not allowed to say all that and then run away. Get back down here.

Gerroffme!

[That catch? Just well-timed enough to pull Damian off-balance and send him as close to sprawling on the roof of the elevator box as he would allow himself to get - he still catches himself with both hands, absorbing the impact, and no, his voice isn't shaky. It's angry. No, really.]

You told me to climb, so I did!

[Terry is completely immune to your anger, kid. Entirely.]

Shut up and come here.

[Because screw propriety, this kid is getting a goddamned hug.]

Why.

[Fine, he can't free his ankle by struggling, so he just turns around and still, looking at Terry suspiciously.

And, after a moment, tries to scramble away. Never has he let anyone anywhere near that deep. So, naturally, his reaction is flight. Immediate. Still.]

[okay, fine. Terry releases him but keeps both his hands poised for defense just in case.]

You think I can't relate? I was a criminal, Damian. I think about it every day. How easy it would have been for me to fall back into it after my dad died. I wasn't much older than you when I started getting mixed up in gangs, and believe me when I say I've got a rap sheet a mile long. Sometimes I think that being Batman, having a name and an ideal to uphold is the only thing that keeps me from going back to that life. And me? I didn't even have the excuse of being raised by assassins. I was just me. A stupid punk kid who thought the world owed him something for nothing. I never killed anybody, but I sure put plenty of people in the hospital.

You say Bruce 'showed' you the alternative. But that's only half the battle. You chose it. You chose this life. Do you think it would be worth doing if it was easy? You think it was easy for me to let the guy who murdered my old man go? You think it was easy to let any of the criminals I've come up against walk? We fight against the worst the world has to offer, total dregs. We are always on the edge. And if anyone in this line of work says otherwise they're lying through their slaggin' teeth.

[His tone is hard and flat. And maybe his Gothamite accent is just a little more prominent than usual, but maybe not.]

Being Batman-- being Robin doesn't make you immune to all the darkness the human mind has to offer. It brings you closer to it. But we're here because we choose to be. Because we can stand against it. You belong with us. That will never change, as long as you're willing to try. Do you understand?

Edited 2012-06-12 09:50 (UTC)

[Oh, good. Damian will finish scrambling backwards to the edge of the roof, and curl up, putting his bent legs between him and Terry, arms wrapped around them. He shouldn't be shaking, but he is, and his whole throat seems to be burning, and so do his eyes. But the first part...]

It's not the same, McGinnis. [Anger's drained from his voice, and it's back to quiet.] Kids like that... [rows of beds in the stinky cold warehouse where Humpty had taken those stolen toys... the wave of nausea is from the memory. Probably.] Kids like that are who I protect of the people who've become what I barely am not. There's being a criminal, and there is being whatever Grandfather and the Joker and Szazs and the rest are. And if you can't see the difference...

I know that I'm choosing the right thing. I know what I'm choosing, and I know why, at least my reasons why. But that doesn't take away the rest. Not what I've done before, not what I came this close to doing - and enjoying - to become Robin, and not what I want to do and know that I can.

That's why I'm not good. And why I'm not a kid. It's in my blood, and my mind, and my heart, and there's no leaving it behind.

[Happy? Are you beginning to see where it will be very, very difficult to even approach the vicinity of that?]

Being Robin, and then Batman, those were objectives. Now they are something different. But they don't come anywhere near the kind of symbols they are for... the rest. I'm always the person inside, with or without the mask.

Always.

[His expression flickers, too quick to really catch. Anger, then something like sadness, and then a species of neutrality. Then he just heads over to Damian and drops down beside him.

And he gets out of his jacket so he can drape it around Damian's shoulders before he wraps an arm around him. Because shush.]

You wanna know what the difference is? You aren't going to give in. Not now, not ever. And if I have to be there to remind you of why, I'll do it. Isn't that what family is all about?

[He's. Getting the hang of this adoptive batfam thing. It's still not easy to say aloud, though.]

MAGICAL ELEVATOR OF FORCED HONESTY

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