I wish they could just get along. I don't know why they don't, and I'm terrified that if I push, he'll just run away, and get hurt, or worse, and it'll be my fault. This place is too dangerous for him, and I can't - I can't lose him. I can't let the things that have happened to me here happen to him too.

I don't know when I'm going to tell him the truth. Or how.






For all that we've talked and talked and tried to make it work, I'm still not sure he'll ever really like me, or trust me. I'm still not sure I can ever really trust him, not the way York does.

I don't want to lose him. But sometimes I wonder what made us think we could make it work at all.