/BRB KILLING MY INBOX

[twotailmechanic.livejournal.com]

The These are my Confessions Meme

1. Post with your characters confessing their darkest secrets and/or things they have been hiding from others.
2. Nobody will be able to lie in this meme or hide the truth. Not even the characters that reply to yours.
3. ???
4. Awkwardness times for all! and profit.

Comments

[hows-the-knee.livejournal.com]

I wish they could just get along. I don't know why they don't, and I'm terrified that if I push, he'll just run away, and get hurt, or worse, and it'll be my fault. This place is too dangerous for him, and I can't - I can't lose him. I can't let the things that have happened to me here happen to him too.

I don't know when I'm going to tell him the truth. Or how.






For all that we've talked and talked and tried to make it work, I'm still not sure he'll ever really like me, or trust me. I'm still not sure I can ever really trust him, not the way York does.

I don't want to lose him. But sometimes I wonder what made us think we could make it work at all.

[articletwelve]

...

[ those sure are a lot of feels, and this isn't really his thing, but-- well. :( ]

You'll be all right. Both-- all of you.

[ LOOK HE'S EVEN SMILING. a little. HE'S TRYING OKAY. ]

[hows-the-knee.livejournal.com]

[and she smiles back. a little.]

...Thanks.

I-

I hope so.

[articletwelve]

[ come on you're his twin you're not supposed to be mopey.

wait that doesn't quite sound right.

WHATEVER. Wash just reaches out and touches her shoulder, lightly, tipping his head to the side. ]

You could do a lot worse. Don't worry.

[hows-the-knee.livejournal.com]

[no being mopey is pretty much part of the package.]

...I know I could.

I - thank you.

[and they are twins and mindreaders and so he can tell she really means it, she's not just brushing him off.]

[articletwelve]

Any time.

[ He knows, and it's why he curls his arm around her, just a little familiar half-hug over her shoulders. ]

You're-- ha. You're strong enough for it.

[hows-the-knee.livejournal.com]

[She smiles, leaning into that hug just a bit, somehow not minding it at all, even if she's usually not big on physical comfort.]

I've had to be.

Doesn't make it any easier.

[articletwelve]

[ He isn't either, of course, but she looks like she needs it, and he can oblige her. He likes her, honestly, likes that he can trust her, and he knows it goes both ways. ]

Yeah, I know. But it's not like you're going to give up trying any time soon.

[hows-the-knee.livejournal.com]

Of course not.

[The thought had never crossed her mind, not once.]

No. There's no way I'm giving up now.

[articletwelve]

Then you'll be fine. Like I said.

[ And that's an honest smile, maybe even the hint of a grin in it. ]

[hows-the-knee.livejournal.com]

[She's not so sure, but she smiles back, all the same.]

Maybe we will be.

[whatvr-it-takes.livejournal.com]

Whatever brought you two together, you'd better just treat him right as far as I'm concerned.

[hows-the-knee.livejournal.com]

Trust me. I know how lucky I am to have him.

I'm not gonna throw that away.

[whatvr-it-takes.livejournal.com]

Good, and I'm not going to get in your way. Despite how much it hurts.

Your kid could use some manners training, however. A lot. [WHUPS more of that why-am-I-saying-things-I-know-I-shouldn't-say :| ]

[hows-the-knee.livejournal.com]

[there's a little bit of sharpness in her tone, because as much as John frustrates her sometimes, as much as she sometimes has no idea what to do with him, he's still her son, and she'd do anything for him.]

My kid is fine.

[Manners were never a priority, for either of them.

And then her tone grows softer, genuinely sympathetic.]



...I'm sorry. I know how it must feel. How much it must hurt.

I wish it didn't have to.

[whatvr-it-takes.livejournal.com]

Least now I know where he gets his from. [WEll sure, if you're trying to save the world you're not going to worry about being nice about it along the way.]

I'll get over it. Or, I'll at least try. [She's already on a date!]

[howkickassiam.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I-- hah. Kind of like false advertising, huh? "I'm great with kids" except the one I need to be able to be great with.

[hows-the-knee.livejournal.com]

No - no.

It's not your fault. It's - none of it is your fault.

It's just John, okay? And he'll - he'll come around.

[at least, she really, really hopes so.]

[howkickassiam.livejournal.com]

If he doesn't, I don't blame you if you pick him over me, okay?

[ honest-- blatantly so, even if his voice is much, much softer. ]

oh html

[hows-the-knee.livejournal.com]

[she's quiet for a long moment, because this is the confession meme, and she can't lie, even to herself, not even to say of course that'll never happen.

Of course she'd pick John. If there was no other choice. That's never been a question, even if it would break her heart.]

...I don't want to have to make that choice.

;;

[howkickassiam.livejournal.com]

Hell, I don't want you to, but we can't kid ourselves and think that it might come down to that if worst comes to worst. He's your son, honey. I get that, I don't hold it against you.

[hows-the-knee.livejournal.com]

...Thank you.

[she means it. She's grateful that he understands, even if she hates even thinking this way.]

I love you.

I'm gonna do everything I can to make this work.

[howkickassiam.livejournal.com]

I don't think you have to worry about that, okay? We'll make this work. I love you, you have good taste. We'll do this, and do it right.

[ he turns it into a faint joke to try and lighten the mood a little, but the bit about Delta keeps hanging over his head. ]

D, though-- D... he'd never hurt you. Never do anything like that to anyone ever.

[hows-the-knee.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Yeah, okay.

[It works; she already feels a little more hopeful, knowing he's on her side, even if she still doesn't know how it'll all work out.

The next part makes her sober, though, shaking her head.]

It's - it's not that, York, I'm not worried about what he might do to me. I know he wouldn't - he'd never want to hurt anybody.

[But this still worries her, will probably worry her forever, no matter how much she gets to like and respect Delta.]

But you're awfully vulnerable with him in there. If anything ever goes wrong.

[howkickassiam.livejournal.com]

I know. But he won't, okay? He's secure, he's smart, he knows how to make sure that nothing happens. I promise.