/BRB KILLING MY INBOX

[twotailmechanic.livejournal.com]

The These are my Confessions Meme

1. Post with your characters confessing their darkest secrets and/or things they have been hiding from others.
2. Nobody will be able to lie in this meme or hide the truth. Not even the characters that reply to yours.
3. ???
4. Awkwardness times for all! and profit.

Comments

[featheryasshole]

People keep telling me I really am human, and I really am real. I keep agreeing because it makes me feel better, but they're wrong.

I still miss Zone Seven sometimes. I'm scared I'll never find that kind of happiness without the brainwashing. Maybe it really would've been worth it.

[memorymodus.livejournal.com]

I know I say it, but...

[ ... ]

I don't think you're as real as I say you are. You're my boyfriend and I really like you, but you're a sprite. And you don't get older.

[featheryasshole]

I don't think I'm gonna be able to bear seeing you and everyone else growing up while I'm stuck like this. I'd rather just die.

[memorymodus.livejournal.com]

I would give up anything to make you human again. I liked you better that way. You weren't as sad.

I can't let you die!

[featheryasshole]

I wish you'd like me even when I'm sad.

[manipul8trix.livejournal.com]

I know you're human. And real! And also the best friend I ever had.

[...]

And now you can't even argue because of the Truthy Thing! That proves this is what I think. So uh. I win.

[featheryasshole]

Yeah, it's what you think. And you're wrong. But I don't want to argue about it with you.

[manipul8trix.livejournal.com]

I am not wrong.

...Wow. Truth paradox! Haha.

[featheryasshole]

No paradox. You think you're not wrong, so that's the truth for you.

[puppetfetishist.livejournal.com]

Okay, I'm tired of your whining, and it's truth day.

Why the fuck does it matter if you're human or not. And what do you mean by "real?" You think you're not real just because you're energy and code instead of a whole lot of water held in a bag of protein?

You think, you feel, you're self directed and self aware, that's what reality is and that's what sentience is, that's what life is. Humans aren't superior to machine life just because we're made of glop instead of gears.

So stop bitching about it and fucking do something. If you sit and waste your life whining? That's when you're worthless and that's when you can't chase happiness.

And no, brainwashing is never worth it. Choice is our gift and curse as sentient, no matter what timey-wimey bullshit Sburb throws at us. We have choices.

And so do you.

So for christ's sake cut it out.

[featheryasshole]

Y'know, you're probably right. And maybe if things had been different, I would be okay with not being human by now. But the first person that ever treated me as not human was SHODAN. And after the things she said, and the things she did to me, I just feel like if I admit that I'm not human, I'd be admitting that she's right about everything else. And yeah, I know that sounds retarded. Just one more reason why I don't like to talk about this shit.

[puppetfetishist.livejournal.com]

It's not retarded. She mindraped you, she took away your agency and your ability to choose and that'd fuck anybody up. It's understandable.

But you need to move beyond that and stop buying into the Karkat rhetoric. There's some crazy asshole AI on this station, but there's a whole bunch who are incredible people. Go talk to Protoman for a while, he's a good friend of mine and he also happens to be a robot and he suffered through SHODAN's bullshit too. Or that Alex AI, or Tron, or that green glowing dude, or Protoman's dorktastic Egbert of a brother, or man I could keep going for a while, they're rad folks.

She can be right about one thing but wrong about everything else. Happens to everybody. And it's hard to admit, I know, but you need to move on if you're going to be functional.

[featheryasshole]

Yeah. And I am trying to get better at the whole moving on thing, that's why I've been getting counseling. But I'm pretty sure it's gonna take a while.

[tempus-mutantur.livejournal.com]

I think you're real, and --



I like you better, uh. This way. It's stupid 'cause you're the same guy either way but I feel more comfortable around a... bird ghost program dude.

[featheryasshole]

Thanks. That. Means a lot, actually.

[tempus-mutantur.livejournal.com]

Really?

[featheryasshole]

Not like I can lie at the moment.

[notjelly]

I desperately wish you could just be okay with the fact that you're not human anymore. That you're different, but that it's okay. That you're beautiful, Tangerines.

[featheryasshole]

The thing is, even if I could just be okay with it, the fact is that being a sprite fucking sucks.

[notjelly]

Oh sweetie...

What about getting yourself a human body again? Would that help?

[rebuildscience]

AI are still real

human? i don't know

[featheryasshole]

Sure, we're real. But I'm scared it means I'm not really me because my memories aren't really mine.

[rebuildscience]

[Hitting too close to home there, boyo.]

i don't know

[timeturntable.livejournal.com]

When you're not bitching or having an existential crisis, you're the closest thing our place has to an actual knight. You save lives, defend shit, come home to the fair lady Jade...

So when you beat up on yourself or try to make it sound like I should be doing more, it basically makes me want to slit your fucking throat. You're the good guy around here, and we both know it. Get a goddamn grip already.

And hey, one more thing - you're not the same person as me, and you never have been.

You've actually got what it takes to be a hero.

[featheryasshole]

You've got what it takes too. It pisses me off that even if we go back to the game, you're never going to actually finish your quest and figure that out like you should.

You can pretend you're not a good guy all you want, but that's just excuses for not trying hard enough.