HORRIBLE MEMES ALL DAY ERRYDAY

[dismembers.livejournal.com]

SINGULARITY KINK MEME 1.0

post a request anonymously with the pairing of your choice and a prompt/kink/what have you, fill requests that catch your eye!

★ one request per comment!
★ if you make a request, please try and fill one too!
★ have fun!
★ chat is full of terrible people!

Comments

[blacktwo.livejournal.com]

When you're an ODST with a stick up his ass about Spartans, you're going to take out on whatever poor son of a bitch happens to look like one. That someone was Tucker, and by all accounts, O'Brien hated Tucker. So what do you when dealing with the asshole that tried whoring you and called you a homogay? You play Bros Icing Bros with the cockbite, that's what you fucking do.

Three ice blocks and six ices shared between them later, and not nice words start flying.

"Asshole, I bet you don't even know what a vagina looks like," said Tucker as she found a comfortable spot on the floor to fall on.

O'Brien protested by flipping a table and exclaiming very loudly that he knew an assload about vaginas and could totally demolish better than any Spartan could. Tucker found that to be very specific.

About four ices later, and O’Brien realized he had been drinking himself steadily into liver failure with a girl for that last two hours. O’Brien stole Tucker’s spot on the floor to fall out, he was just that flabbergasted. Tucker was also still in that spot.

“Hey, my floor, dumbass. Go find your own to cry your little bitch tears on.”

O’Brien was totally not crying, his eyes were just sweating.

Oh, yeah, the actual part where they fuck.

SO THEN O’Brien, completely iced, offered to give Tucker a ride home on his bologna pony. Because they don’t call it liquid courage for nothing, or whatever. Tucker, being without her rock and too drunk to demand credits, was all up on that.

O’Brien went monkey shit and tore that discount armor off like nobody’s business. He was so damn excited he tried j-j-jamming It in without getting hard first. Tucker laughed. O’Brien suppressed a sob and wanked off for a bit until his dick was stiff.

They finally got to the actual fucking and Tucker was at the very least, drunk enough to enjoy herself. O’Brien felt like the shit. And then he just felt like shit. All this rutting was getting him car sick. Or motion sick. I forget which one.

His face got all kawaii blushy and Tucker though he was about to come. Well, he did, but not before puking a case of Smirnoff on her chest.

“FUCK, IF I WANTED A ROMAN SHOWER I WOULD’VE GOOGLED IT YOU SICK BITCH”

O’Brien had to spend the night so he could clean the carpet.

[has-a-hardline.livejournal.com]

I AM NEVER GOING TO BE ABLE TO THINK OF VOMIT WITHOUT LAUGHING MY ASS OFF NOW

Showers all around. AS IN TE KIND THAT INVOLVE AMAZING CLEANSING WATER AND NOT VOMIT IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM.