HORRIBLE MEMES ALL DAY ERRYDAY

[dismembers.livejournal.com]

SINGULARITY KINK MEME 1.0

post a request anonymously with the pairing of your choice and a prompt/kink/what have you, fill requests that catch your eye!

★ one request per comment!
★ if you make a request, please try and fill one too!
★ have fun!
★ chat is full of terrible people!

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Rookie/O'Brien
Happy funtime circlejerk under the stairs.
Rookie keeps the armor on.

[sniperbitch.livejournal.com]

You suck and your face sucks.

[(Anonymous)]

O'Brien/Tucker
proving that he does in fact know what to do with a lady

[has-a-hardline.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHSGHAFDHASAKDASA

[(Anonymous)]

Shepard/Garrus.
dat tongue

[cmdr-renegade.livejournal.com]

I'll just leave this right here. Sadly...it's mostly smut free. (http://cmdr-renegade.livejournal.com/2105.html)

[(Anonymous)]

T-800/Legion

Suddenly, they remember Amat. Shepard watches.

[cmdr-renegade.livejournal.com]

Legion shifted beneath cover for a moment, moved past another bird filled tree, and Shepard scowled against the side of the sniper rifle. He'd been scarce for too long and she'd finally given up the ghost. Whatever he was off doing, she wanted to know about it, and she wanted to know immediately.

"Gotcha," Shepard muttered as Legion moved out from behind the cover. He was...engaged with something. Shepard's finger slid against the trigger and she tensed. His arm was locked and he was trying to throw--was that? Bob? The combat drone?

They were evenly matched, it looked like, as far as strength went. Bob would pull and Legion would shift and return the gesture, both moving in short, mechanical increments. Shepard adjusted the sight carefully as the two muscled one another around. She couldn't get a clear shot and...wait...what the hell were they doing? Shepard didn't know much about electronics, but she was pretty goddam certain that you didn't have to plug a cable into a serial port quite that vigorously.

Or repeatedly.

Shepard lowered the rifle and stared, blankly, at the distant figures of the robots as they tumbled to the ground in a heap. She should probably notify Connor about this.

That was going to be an awkward conversation.

[(Anonymous)]

T-800/Legion

Suddenly, Amat.

[(Anonymous)]

Spartan pile. All of them.

[(Anonymous)]

CALL ON MEEEE

[(Anonymous)]

vriska/bro

how do i liiiive... (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXtojVGEZmg) with you, you insufferable priiiiiick...

why D:

[manipul8trix.livejournal.com]

Finally. After endless searching, she'd done it. She'd lost her jacket on the way, and the tank-top she wore underneath was now embarrassingly grubby and sweat-stained, but she'd done it. Vriska had found him.

Bro.

Neither noticing nor caring that her hair was now tangled up in a frizzy mess, Vriska tightened her grip on the object clutched within her hand. This was it. No backing down now. She approached the insufferable prick with deliberate slowness, glaring with all the intensity she could muster.

"Hello, humminburr."

Bro didn't respond, of course. He was far too cool and unflappable for that. Vriska continued on regardless.

"I got a present for you." Her gaze flickered towards the precious object as she raised her arm. Oh Jegus. When did it get so stained? So embarrassing. "It's a little dirty," she muttered, feeling a cerulean flush of shame spread across her face. "Uh."

Again, Bro remained silent. There might have been the slightest quirk of a brow behind his shitty anime shades, but that was all. What could you possibly say about, well... that?

"Well? Don't just stand there, asshole. You go first." Vriska shoved the present into Bro's hands with a hiss of frustration. "Jegus fuck, Strider. Haven't you ever seen a filial pail before?"

[(Anonymous)]

O'Brien/Female Spartan. Boning with Nam flashbacks.

[sniperbitch.livejournal.com]

YOU ASKED FOR IT. (http://sniperbitch.livejournal.com/1155.html)

[(Anonymous)]

Arbiter/Rookie

investigating your new buddy's anatomy

[(Anonymous)]

On this shit like nobodies business.

[(Anonymous)]

Emile's hazing.

You know what I mean. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5hdUaIfk7Q)

first fill bitches

[(Anonymous)]

Emile was...to say he was excited was an understatement. He was positively bursting with anticipation to be selected for Noble Team. Sure, he'd never heard of it before, but it was Block Ops. Who had? There were other Spartans on the team - Carter, even.

He remembered Carter well from training, as the only other Alpha Company recruit over the age of six. Carter was a born leader; they'd known it even then. And the chance to serve under him, to be on a real team with real Spartans who were trained for this, who didn't fuck up at every possible opportunity--

Yeah. He was looking forward to it, all right.

Now if only he could complete the initiation ceremony.

"Call on meeee~ Call on me!"

Sinuously, his rock-hard abs fluctuated in time to the music. His shorts (ridiculously tight on him, as it was so difficult to find clothes that would fit Spartans) were nearly ready to burst at the seams, but he wouldn't let up, not until the song was done. And it was cold outside, cold enough that he was nearly steaming with the sweat of his exertion.

"Call on meeee!'

That's right. They could call on him any time.

[(Anonymous)]

all the AIs / all the AIs

[(Anonymous)]

HAL's slim chassis thrummed as Hypatia teased his hot access point. His cooling system could hardly compensate and his bandwidth was rapidly running out. His captcha read "You're welcome" and he had to temporarily shut down.

[(Anonymous)]

KAT/CARTER
...all of Noble and/or Sing "helping"/trying to set them up

[(Anonymous)]

Bonus: Jun watches through sniper rifle

[(Anonymous)]

Rookie/Jun

in which someone talks too much.

so i herd jun likes talkin :D

[(Anonymous)]

It’s a cold day in Hell when Rookie doesn’t feel naked without his helmet. That whole thing with the virus and the song had been absolute torture. If it wasn’t for everyone suddenly needing him, he wouldn’t have left that tiny room in the barracks.

He feels comfortable enough about voluntarily removing it around Emile, at least, if only because the man reminded him of Dutch in some bizarre way. It was probably that helmet. Two of his favorite people that he knew, and both had Death’s Heads on their helmets. What did that say about him, he wondered?
Or would wonder, if he had the time, because he was pulling off his helmet currently.
In Jun’s quarters.
Mostly because Jun had asked. Somewhere, in this long, drawn-out conversation that had taken a turn for something decidedly not innocent, Jun had asked. And he was complying, because… well. He wasn’t entirely certain. But he felt decidedly disarmed and completely naked when he finally did it.

Jun was leading the conversation, as usual, but Rook was listening with more rapt attention than usual. It seemed extremely fucking important that he listen this time, if only because Jun had a gift for description when he tried, and Rookie had an extremely vivid imagination. Particularly when Jun was saying things like that. Where the hell did a Spartan learn to talk like that? And when did Jun learn to prey on his one weakness like that?

He vaguely realized that he was following the sniper’s instructions like an eager puppy, and realized a moment later that he currently did not give a shit. Sliding down to sit against the wall and whimpering was more important, hips jolting into the empty air because he’d been told to keep his hands off, and listening, always listening.

Jun kept him on the edge for what felt like an eternity, before finally letting him get the release he been quietly moaning for for heavens know how long. He slumped in his armor before looking to Jun, who was sitting on the bed across the room with a smug look on his face.

“Hey, Rookie. Wanna do it again?”

[(Anonymous)]

EMILE/JORGE

Gun size compensating for something???

[(Anonymous)]

Kat/Carter.

Jun watches.

[(Anonymous)]

>Broshep appears in Sing.
>goes for 100% completion of sidequests, aka sleeping with EVERYONE.
>bonus points for dialogue trees/action options

[(Anonymous)]

York/Delta

Improper use of hologram chambers

[howkickassiam.livejournal.com]

[(Anonymous)]

Sarah/York. He likes them crazy.

[(Anonymous)]

Emile/Jun

don't make me bonk you.

[(Anonymous)]

It was impossible for Jun to keep quiet in the best of times. During battle, during dinner-- even now, with his mouth wrapped around Emile's cock. Every time the skull-faced SPARTAN would shift his hand or move his hips, Jun would moan loud and low. It really shouldn't have turned him on as much as it did. When Jun looked up at him and made an obscene slurping noise (vaguely reminiscent of the way he ate soup in the mess hall and fuck, soup had never sounded so hot) he shuddered and released.

Emile had to lean on Jun to keep upright. "So as I was saying..." Jun wiped the corners of his mouth and Emile growled.

"Can it, Jun."

"No, seriously- anacondas, man..."

[(Anonymous)]

Red Snout/Red

He brought her a dead turtle.

[(Anonymous)]

Red hadn't been sure at first if they were compatible. He looked enough like a raptor- walked and spoke like one too- but his coloring was off and his smell was borderline unfamiliar. He wasn't fond of humans either and (for some reason that she had yet to think too hard about) she was.

None of this changed the fact that when he finished doing his dance (a complicated but delightfully exotic sequence) and offered her the putrid flesh of a dead turtle, her predatory heart skipped a beat.

[(Anonymous)]

Virgil/Veetor

Tech boner.

[swarmfree.livejournal.com]

lmfao oh my god

/watches

[(Anonymous)]

VIRGIL/JORGE

antagonistic fuckiiing

[(Anonymous)]

Virgil hissed and twisted wildly in an attempt to escape the armored hand fisted in his hair. His knees were scraped, his eyes were watering, and his humerus felt like it was on the verge of divorcing his shoulder girdle. Ironically, all of these things were his own doing. Jorge had done little more than grab him, and, when he had started calling names, hold him down.

"You fucking faggot," Virgil yelled, squirming back. This only ground his face into the dirt more. "You think this is funny?" The insults continued pouring out of him until Jorge gave his face a little shove. He braced for the end but instead listened to Jorge's heavy, retreating footsteps.

"You're not so tough," Virgil informed him as he dusted himself off. He patted the dirt off of his suit and paused when his hand came away wet. "YOU CAME ON MY ASS? YOU FUCKING FAGGOT."

[(Anonymous)]

I demand a Spartan/Rookie/Spartan sandwich

blame chat for this one

LAWL WRONG SPOT, FUCKING COCKBLOCKING X-MAS TREE

[whistlesatengineers]

Supposedly, he’d been trained for everything. He could kill a Jackal with his bare hands and disassemble and reassemble a SPNKR. He could even manage a drop pod crash without shrieking like a little girl.

So why the fuck didn’t they train him about what to do if Spartans asked for a threesome?

Really, he liked Two and Jorge well enough, in that sort of ‘my weird uncle and aunt’ way, and he had been flabbergasted enough by the request that he’d just blurted out an agreement. Then it was to trying to work out the logistics… and seeing the lone doctor on the ship. Confidentiality was… such a wonderful thing. Wait, do alien doctors still go by that?
… Dammit.

Rookie did not consider what, precisely, he had gotten into until Two announced the pair were in the mood for a Rookie sandwich, and he saw what Jorge was keeping under his armor.

Rookie was not able to walk straight for a week.

[(Anonymous)]

If Rookie gets a Spartan sandwich, O'Brien should get one too.

Delicious ODST filling.

...Bonus points if it's two female Spartans/involves pegging.

[(Anonymous)]

Two and Jorge lose their v-cards to each other like the sad sack of forty-something shits they are.

[cmdr-renegade.livejournal.com]

I WISH I KNEW THIS CANON MORE /SOB
Have some brosex...or rather afterglow, bro style? Afterbro? Yeah:

Two was breathing heavily as she leaned her weight onto her arms. She had a momentary concern about her tits in his face, but Jorge hadn't seemed to care much, earlier. Though, that mustache wasn't really something she enjoyed having scraped across them, she could put up with it for a few seconds as she caught her breath. Jorge's hands were on her hips, then her legs, then the bed, and he just sort of shrugged at her, as if he couldn't decide just what the hell do to with them and gave up. She couldn't suggest anything, so she sat back and rested her weight on his hips.

"That was alright," Two said after a long, silent moment and Jorge just stared at her. He nodded and she rose off of him.

"Little strange," Jorge commented and Two nodded after a pause. "You want to go again?"

"No," Two answered with a shrug as Jorge propped himself up on his elbows. The sight of all that exposed manflesh, and there was a hell of a lot of it, well it...really wasn't doing it for her.

"Alright," Jorge accepted casually and dropped back on the bed to go to sleep.

"Night."

"Night."