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WHAT DOES X THINK OF Y?
NOW WITH WORKING BIGTEXT!

It's been half a year since we did this last? Where did all of that time go?

★ Post your character(s) in a comment.
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☆ Let the teal deer roam freely.
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One (1) ~~cat lady~~ paranoid space marine.

must i

jfc where do i even begin

So she's not his York, and he's not her Wash, and he's getting used to that, but it's still so goddamn weird. Like, seriously weird, because she acts just like York and says all the things he would, only it's a little bit off, a little bit wrong, and he can't help but see that every time it happens. It goes back and forth every time they have a conversation -- sometimes she's more herself, and sometimes she's more him, and as much as he tries he can't quite get past that.

He knows better than to trust her, but once he'd let himself open up to his York it's hard to just close all that shut again, and she'd dropped in so quickly that he'd never quite been able to process it all. He's used to seeing people appear and disappear, people he cares about, but losing both York and Sarah and getting an entirely different one (and yet completely the same) back again in the span of a week is, in a word, messing with him.

So he's confused, and he doesn't know what to do, and for Wash that means shutting down and Not Thinking About His Feelings, because that's a hell of a lot easier. It's easier to pretend that things are okay, that he doesn't really have to think about any of it, and while he's pretty damn sure he's incapable of forgetting, it makes it easier, day to day.

So he's not used to her yet. He doesn't know if he can even get used to her, because every day is a reminder of what's not there anymore, and what is. But if there's one thing Wash is good at, it's pretending everything's fine, and he's willing to do it if it means having her around. He doesn't want to lose anyone else.

And he doesn't let himself think about what her Wash was to her, most of the time, because that's just a can of worms he can't even begin to process yet.

madi fuck you why am i basically writing a fic here

Edited (i made a lot of typos okay) 2012-07-22 17:58 (UTC)

:)?

Man, Wash still doesn't know what to make of him. He's weirded out by the alternate universe thing, of course, and it puts him on edge a little -- he doesn't really know what to do with him. For now, wary acknowledgement is about all Wash can manage, sob.

I think we are covering this in that one thread but :D

man i need a wash+delta shot from this season to make icons from

Anyway uh. This is probably the single most complex relationship Wash has right now, since things with York are mostly "HOW DO I EVEN." Wash is still working through how exactly he's supposed to feel about Delta, but the one thing he's most sure of is guilt. He knows it's because of him that Delta got emp'd back home, and while he'd accepted it as a necessary evil then, it's because he'd distanced himself from who Delta was in favor of the what -- just another fragment, another piece of the puzzle.

More importantly, though, he'd known Delta as an entity by himself, not in the context of his partnership with York -- at least, not what it had developed to. There's a lot he doesn't remember from the Project ~~because it hasn't aired yet~~, but even then he'd never imagined just how close York and Delta had become in the time since, and it wasn't until York got himself killed and the recovery beacon went off that Wash realized just how much.

After he moved in, it was a lot harder to ignore it, and he started to think about just how much the two of them had lost, back home. He knew things worked out better in their universe, but that didn't mean Wash could stop thinking about things in his own, and the knowledge that if he were ever to go back home he'd never seen either of them again. He doesn't want to admit to Delta what happened to him, or how much of it was Wash's fault, but he started to acknowledge that there was guilt there, and more of it than he knew how to deal with.

For a long time, it was hard to get close to him as much for the guilt as it was for what Wash remembered, as well -- Delta had broken off early, but Wash still has remnants of Epsilon's memories, and he can't exactly forget the break that Alpha required just to dissociate his own logic. It's easier for Wash to think of Delta as a concept than a person, as it is for most of the A.I., and being thrust into a situation where there's no ignoring who or what he is has been a hell of a lot to process.

But it's gotten better, over time, and it helps that Delta's made efforts of his own. Only Delta would have known to get him something like a cat, after all, and having him there to help look after it came more naturally than anything else here. Wash relies on Delta for a lot, and takes a lot of his abilities for granted in order to keep them safe, but he started really appreciating it, then, and it helped open up who he saw Delta as as a result.

Getting sent back home just make Wash want to cling to the people he cared about on Sacrosanct all the more, and though he never would have included Delta in that originally, it's exactly how he felt, afterwards. So for him to be all he had left just a couple of months later made Wash all the more protective, and short of Delta's York coming back there's no one he'd even let touch Delta's chip, at least any time soon.

These days, Wash relies on Delta for a lot -- for the cat, for a sounding board, for someone to talk to when things with York are too weird to think about, for the protection he offers -- but most of all he's the strongest support Wash has left, and even if he's utterly atrocious at showing it, he'd do just about anything to keep from losing him.

i don't even want to know how tl;dr that was ALSO HEY WASH WHY DON'T YOU EVER SAY ANY OF THESE THINGS JFC

if they were on facebook it would be "it's complicated."

It is, though. Everything to do with her leaving is still a little fuzzy in his head, given Epsilon kind of scrambled his thoughts around (see: how i ignore season 9 and 10 until they come out), so most of Wash's experience with CT has been in her time here. As far as he knows, she's dead back home, and it's just another reminder of how incredibly alone it is back there, after everything that's happened. So though he knows all too well that she doesn't want it, he wants to protect her here, or at least keep her from the same fate. It's why he keeps trying, no matter how many times she pushes him away -- he knows what's left for her, and if there's anything he can do to make what time she has here a little bit easier, he will.

Except, you know. She's CT. Whoops.

(Also the whole nearly dying all over her couch thing. He still feels bad for that.)

Edited 2012-07-26 18:22 (UTC)

Sounds about right. c:

One of these days she does need to concretely address the fact he almost died on her couch.

Yeeeeeah they do. We should get on that sometime. c: Though I'm good with seeing how this thread shakes out first. (Sorry I've been so slow :()

I'm cool with that! Also slow is never a problem. <33

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