HORRIBLE MEMES ALL DAY ERRYDAY

[dismembers.livejournal.com]

SINGULARITY KINK MEME 1.0

post a request anonymously with the pairing of your choice and a prompt/kink/what have you, fill requests that catch your eye!

★ one request per comment!
★ if you make a request, please try and fill one too!
★ have fun!
★ chat is full of terrible people!

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Rookie/Emile

"Have a thing for the bad boys."
leave the helmets on

[(Anonymous)]

/claims page two in the name of helmet kink

[(Anonymous)]

Jorge/idgaf, mustache rides.

How is this not on here yet.

[screeee.livejournal.com]

"Oh god, your face is so soft on my nethers," Shepard moaned as she humped Jorge's glorious mustache. He mumbled something in response but she just rode him harder. "No more mandibles sticking in my thigh. Oh god use your tongue." After several seconds with no change she repeated the command. Shepard was not used to people disobeying her orders. Especially when she was sitting on their face.

"Use your tongue," she insisted, grabbing his hair and tugging. Jorge slid a hand under her bum and lifted her a few inches off of him so that he could speak.

"I am using my tongue," he informed her politely.

"Oh."

And then shit got awkward.

[(Anonymous)]

Human Red/ Human Grid

[(Anonymous)]

O'Brien/Rookie Delicious kissing scene. It's not gay because dicks aren't touching.

[whistlesatengineers]

If people in the station didn’t agree on anything else, they agreed that O’Brien needed to learn about the bird and bees, and Rookie found it hilarious. The only unfortunate part was that O’Brien felt the need to rant and rave to him about it. This time, someone had left porn mags and a copy of “Sex for Dummies” in the Private’s room (J.D would never admit that he had found the book, and begged the magazines off of Tucker… heavens only know what that would cost him later), and the poor man did not find it funny.
He had to work hard to keep the grin off his face, since he was tinkering with his helmet.

He let O’Brien continue for a while, until he got bored of nodding his head and grunting every time a question came up. He left his helmet on the table, stood up, and got into his fellow Helljumper’s personal space. O’Brien looked puzzled and offended at the same time, starting to back up until Rookie put a hand firmly at the back of his neck. He traced the ridge of the other man’s spine with the tips of his fingers for a moment before moving in. Inch in, tilt head just so, pull O’Brien in closer… ignore protest… part lips, press lips to O’Brien’s. The start of the action done, he continued to kiss him, slow and methodical about it. It had been quite a while and he dearly missed it.
Also, the startled look on the other man’s face was just too amusing for him to quit.

J.D. hummed low in his throat when O’Brien finally started to kiss back, angling his head a little more and letting his eyes slip closed. He gave him some time to adjust and feel it out before finally slipping his tongue into the other man’s mouth, giving the area a thorough exploration as he did. A chuckle rumbled out of his chest at the squawk of protest the action earned, and he finally pulled back, enough that his ODSTs’ lips were just brushing.

O’Brien still looked shocked, and the Rookie was certain that he was about to have accusations of gayness leveled at him. Before they came, though, he simply smiled brightly. “And that’s how you kiss girls.”

He promptly shoved O’Brien out of his room and shut the door.

[(Anonymous)]

Virgil/HAL

everything is ruined forever

WHY IS THIS IN TWO PARTS Part I

[has-a-hardline.livejournal.com]

HAL's hands were completely tied when it came to the situation, except his tactile sensors informed him that it was duct tape rather than rope. It was a good thing they did too, because there was no way for him to see it with the blindfold double wrapped around his eye sensor. He doesn't like this one bit, but he's used to doing things he doesn't like, like keeping secrets and lying to crew-mates. He sits there in the dark for exactly one hour, thirteen minutes, four seconds, and thirty milliseconds before he can hear the light switch snap on and someone familiar walks into the room. HAL can almost hear Virgil grin, and if he could wince, he would.

“Virgil,” he murmurs, “If you could please untie me, I would very much like that.” HAL looks at where he is certain Virgil probably is maybe. He can hear the soft lilting sound as Virgil flips on his wearable, and moments later he can hear painfully cheesy porno music echoing in the room. He doesn't bother straining against the duct tape bindings, even when he hears Virgil move closer and feels him press against his body, chest to chest.

“I like you better like this, lovely,” he remarks, running a hand under Hal's cheap thrift store shirt and sliding upward until he finds a small nipple. He rubs his thumb around it in small circles, pinching it whenever the fuck he feels like it. HAL's eye remains unmoved and his thin gray mouth curves down in a frown.

“You know that those don't do anything. I hinted at it the first time we met.”

Virgil shrugs and pulls HAL's shirt over his head, leaving it bunched up where the duct tape starts. The blindfold comes off in a quick motion and suddenly there is a pulsing eye staring him in the face and it makes Virgil a little hotter under the collar. He drags his tongue around a nipple, flicking it and grazing it with too sharp teeth before doing the same to it's partner. HAL stifles a few noises of awkward distress, then decides he is better off shutting down his voice box for the moment. Virgil unzips HAL's jeans, pulling them off and exposing absolutely nothing, as HAL didn't really have anything there to expose, which was fine with him. Frotting against silicone instead of skin wasn't his favorite thing but this was HAL and watching him squirm was fucking hilarious, so he would take what he could get. Virgil stands up and unzips, stroking his dick as Hal rapidly scoots back, trying to pull himself up before Virgil trips him and he falls back down onto his ass, extremely cross at the whole ordeal.

Virgil moves in close, dragging his prick against the side of HAL's face, leaving a smear of precum across his cheek. He circles HAL's lips with the tip, pushing at his mouth and still grinning. HAL's frown deepens and his eye stares ahead blankly. Virgil's grin falters slightly when he realizes HAL isn't going to open his mouth, but it doesn't disappear. “Come on. Don't be such a bitch. I can get it out of your circuits later,” he purrs, pushing more insistently. HAL does something stranger that normal, opting to roll his eye in his visor before turning his head to the side and away from Virgil.

“Fine. Be a prude,” Virgil snickers. HAL just rolls his eye around again before staring at Virgil with a mixture of surprise and disdain as the carcharian slinks down his body and spreads his legs further apart. Virgil lines up his dick with the smooth section between HAL's thighs, and the A.I. turned robot tries to back peddle almost immediately, but not before headbutting Virgil in the face. To his credit, he takes the blow to the face with dignity, pulls HAL back in, and doesn't even slow his thrusting.

[(Anonymous)]

T-800/Sarah, jealousy issues

[(Anonymous)]

SHODAN/Hypatia

[(Anonymous)]

Parker catches someone in Normandy haus fappin. Awkward lies ensue.

[(Anonymous)]

Parker was bored.

Shepard refused to let her explore the station, alternating vaguely muttered excuses about preserving the safety of station residents and keeping the secret weapon under wraps.

Unfortunately, much like an octopus in a too-small tank, Parker needed to be constantly entertained to keep out of trouble. And being assigned to dishwashing duty (after an incredibly short-lived and disastrous attempt at playing gun-cleaning assistant) wasn't doing the trick.

She'd taken to crawling through the vents for the sole purpose of irritating Thane. She didn't especially like crawling on her hands and knees through tiny, uncomfortable spaces, but it was worth it for the look on Thane's face.

She was in the vents when she heard it.

Heavy breathing, at first, that made her think that someone was hyperventilating. And then the breathing was interrupted by moans of pain. Parker listened intently, head cocked to one side, trying to figure out which direction the sounds were coming from. As she finally located it and started crawling as fast as she could through the vents, the words started.

"Oh, Shepard!" It was a low growl. "That's it, baby, work it. Yeah, I know ladies love the scars."

Scars? Parker's eyes widened. Scars meant pain, no one should be giving anyone else scars.

"Unf unf unf."

That was a weird noise. And then there was a scream. Parker started and sped up. She could see the vent cover ahead of her. She was almost there.

"HANG ON, I'LL SAVE YOU!"

She crashed through the vent cover and landed directly on top of a naked and very alarmed Garrus.

"...Oh."

Parker crawled off the bed and stared at Garrus. He shifted awkwardly and grabbed a blanket. Shepard wasn't there.

"Why were you talking to yourself?"

"Uh..." Garrus thought quickly. "I was...uh...practicing. A speech."

Parker stared at him. "A speech about...scars?" she asked doubtfully.

"...Yes!" He grasped on to the lie like a lifeline. "Very important speech. About scars. Military business." He tried to look mysterious and intimidating. "You don't want to know the details."

Parker frowned, and thought about this. "Okay," she said slowly, and Garrus breathed a sigh of relief. "...But what does unf unf unf mean?"

Garrus squeezed his eyes shut, threw his head back against the pillow and cursed himself inwardly for not shooting her when he had the chance.

[(Anonymous)]

Legion & Veetor

"But how does his fear make you ~feel~?" / maybe being BFFs with the quarian-creators is just fucking impossible

(2 parts) anon apologizes for the lack of kink

[(Anonymous)]

"Fear is an organic response. We understand cohabitation with us is not desired."

He overhears Commander Shepard talking to it, a few days after they replaced the kitchen table and repaired the shotgun holes in the wall. They're in that one room he never took the time to explore before. No way is he ever going in there now. That's where it usually stays, when they're not accidentally bumping into each other in the halls or made to cooperate when trouble on the station arises.

It's been ages since Veetor wound up in Sacrosanct. He wants to go home. This base? This isn't home. It can't ever feel like home, not with that... that geth under the same roof.

He can't believe Tali was able to deal with it. Then again, she always was stronger than him, so it shouldn't come as a surprise.

----------

It listens in on an unsecured conversation over the network. Creator-Veetor'Nara is speaking to an acquaintance. Female. Human. Approximately the same age, perhaps younger. First they recollect the previous day's findings in Residential Zone 02. Then they arrange plans for next week. She asks why quarians don't eat the same food as humans, and he gives a basic explanation as to why.

Creator-Veetor'Nara offers to help her find a desirable eating facility next time they meet, even though he would be unable to enjoy it.

It records the public conversation and adds it to the growing database.

----------

He can't stand looking at it. He just... can't. Part of him gets reminded of the day he first learned of its presence and the damage caused when he reacted. Part of him remembers those history files on the Geth War he was forced to read while growing up. Sometimes he pictures droves of synthetics dragging away people he cares about, and it's on days like those he wishes Doctor Shiya were here to help him.

Veetor avoids contact with it so much, he fails to notice the slight changes its in body language the rare moments they're within the same physical space. Sometimes Legion's faceplates raise in a particular manner when Veetor turns away. Only when he turns away. When he leaves. Thane remembers one such incident clearly and brings it up with the commander after training.

It's always quiet around him, too, never saying a word unless Veetor speaks first.

Unless someone else in the base nudges him into it — whether it's Virgil being nosy or Garrus making a wry joke — Veetor never speaks first.

[(Anonymous)]

Virgil/Bro

BUCKETSSSS

[(Anonymous)]

SHODAN / Sarah Connor

I didn't really love you, but I'm pretty when I lie... (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IOZ6ptqcbUc)

[(Anonymous)]

Black-Two/The Rookie

awkwardtastic

[(Anonymous)]

Sarah Conner/All the A.I. Mindfuck and body controlling to the highest order

[hows-the-knee.livejournal.com]

[(Anonymous)]

All of Sing.

Bottle of Goldschlager.

"What If"

Someone loses their panties (or briefs)

[(Anonymous)]

< a href="http://community.livejournal.com/singularityderp/3433.html?thread=265321#t265321">Rookie serves Tucker.

The sexy answer.

/assists the HTML

[whistlesatengineers]

Rookie serves Tucker.

[(Anonymous)]

Troll orgy. Complete with buckets. Don't care how or why. MAKE IT HAPPEN GUYS.

and yes it is completely okay to age them up because oh my god thirteen year olds

//HOT TROLL-ON-BUCKET ACTION//

[(Anonymous)]

Ok so Sollux and Feferi were making out on a couch and only pausing to sensuously vomit vast amounts of genetic material into the nearest pail every five minutes when someone walked into the hive and interrupted them. It was.......... Karkat!!!!!

"ALRIGHT, LISTEN UP, YOU FUCKING PATHETIC PISSBULGES," he bellowed, "CAN YOU FUCKTARDS JUST KEEP IT FUCKING DOWN OR SOMETHING, JEGUS FUCKING SHIT. YOUR SLOPPY ANTICS ARE REALLY GETTING ON MY NOOK, IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO CONCENTRATE ON ANYTHING WITH YOU DOING THAT AND oh look my clothes just fell off."

"Glubs)(rug," burbled Feferi, before filling up like six more buckets holy shit.

"TH1S M34NS 1T 1S T1M3," Terezi gasped, busting on into the room from I dunno SOMEWHERE. Everyone turned to look at her. She grinned, secure in the knowledge that she looked absolutely fucking amazing in that bright red dragon suit she was wearing. "DO YOU KNOW WH4T 1T 1S T1M3 FOR?"

"...Iith iit tiime for iithe cream?" Sollux suggested, then cried a little bit because Feferi prodded him in the eye with one of her horns as punishment for being a moron.

"AW HELL NO," Vriska screamed awesomely as she did a cool powerslide through the wall of the hive and did a spinning backflip and landed on top of Terezi, obviously knocking off all of their clothes in the process and then like posing in a seductive kind of way. "it is time to fill some 8uuuuuuuuckets, duh! All of the 8uckets. All of them."

Terezi nodded nakedly. "D4MN R1GHT! 1T 1S T1M3 FOR R41NBOW RUMPUS ORGYTOWN!"

And then they porked.

[(Anonymous)]

O'Brien/Jun

"Snipers Do It With Precision"

[(Anonymous)]

York/ Human Red

fluff

[screeee.livejournal.com]

York started when Red tumbled into the bed next to him. After living with her as a raptor, it was still strange to encounter her as a human. She had once broken the bed getting into it. Now she weighed roughly a tenth of what she had and her bird-boned frame hardly dented the mattress.

She had take a long time to adjust to being a human. Walking without a tail had been hard. She still tended to bend her knees just a bit too much when she was standing still. Not being able to hunt anymore had been hard on her. On the other hand, she had developed a taste for baked goods and had come to understand why humans cooked their meat. She no longer ate raw hamburger patties from the fridge. All in all, she was coming to terms with the strange new body the station had given her.

Red twisted around until she faced York. Her eyes were dark and round as saucers. She had yet to master the subtle telegraphing that was human facial expressions. She was always an open book.

“York, what is a kiss?” She asked, cocking her head. York barely refrained from giving her a deer in the headlights stare and replying with 'wat'. “For mating, yes? Lips on lips?” Someone must have left a chick flick on.

“Yes, that's correct.”

Red seemed to grow very thoughtful at this. “Then why did Junior ask Tucker for a kiss?”

York rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “Mates kiss. But parents kiss their kids too. Just differently.”

Red made a face. “How? Will show?”

“Oh- uh...” York leaned up on one elbow to look down at her. She stared back up at him with her lips scrunched and her forehead creased. The very picture of puzzlement. Her eyes followed his hand as it moved up to brush a few strands of tangled red hair out of her face. He leaned down and planted a soft kiss on her brow. “...Like that,” he explained.

“Oh.” Red put her fingers to the spot that he'd kissed. “Is very nice.” And she leaned forward to reciprocate the gesture. “Night York.”

“Night Red.” He didn't wipe the smear of spit off of his face until she'd rolled over again. What was his life.

[(Anonymous)]

York/ Human Delta

Let's see York inside Delta for a change ohoho

[(Anonymous)]

Ryro/Grid

adventures in parenting

[(Anonymous)]

Virgil/Veetor/Legion

Y U DO DIS?

[(Anonymous)]

follow up to http://community.livejournal.com/singularityderp/3433.html?thread=254057#t254057

Shepard locks Veetor and Legion in together, no coming out until they make nice.

[(Anonymous)]

Eridan riding Toothless all night without a saddle.

[ysonightfurious.livejournal.com]

[(Anonymous)]

What if Veetor was the vegetarian meat substitute in a terminator geth sandwich

[(Anonymous)]

prism/delta.

Holobodies. Dicksucking.